How do you know "this" but…

…. not know which way to turn the valve on the horse water hose to keep it from freezing?

The “this” was hubby asking me what the standard height of a door was. ‘Answer for $10 Bob’ – 80″ . 6’8″, duh.

Why do I know this? I worked at 3 different lumber yards over the course of my “jill-of-all-trades” life. Two years on Maui, one on Kauai and one p/t in the Florida Keys were the silly people put me in the lawn and garden before they realized I meant it when I said I had a black thumb and could kill a silk plant.

Again, it’s one of those things – I don’t know why I remember this stuff.

~ ~ ~ ~

“We need to re-shingle the house”

“Be sure to go with Arch 80 – it has a 30 year warranty & more depth to the pattern. Firescreen only has 20 & is ugly & flat.”


~ ~ ~ ~

“I need to go get some sheets to match the garage. The stuff with the grooves.”

“T 1-11.”

“Shut up.”

~ ~ ~ ~

When tiling a bathroom came up on my forum & the use of green drywall I hopped right in. “You have to use durarock, green board won’t do it, ding dong.”

~ ~ ~ ~

If I’m at your house and your bathroom fan makes too much noise, I will crawl up & replace your squirrel cage for you, even though you have no idea what that is. I will also put in your dimmer for you without turning off the power (& yes, I will get zapped a minimum of 2 times & still won’t turn it off) & hang your ceiling fan if you whine long enough. I wish I could say no to taping your damn drywall, yes I do that too.

I got my first tool box when I was around 16. My dad picked up my purse to move it and said, “What the heck is in here?” (Yes, he probably did just say heck. My potty mouth does not come from my dad who was always great about never letting us hear him swear.) I pulled out a couple of screwdrivers, a tape measure & so on. He customized a tool box for me for my car the next day. I wish I still had it. Hubby bought me a pink one a couple years ago but it doesn’t stop the ‘bastid’ from stealing my tools. I asked my son to buy him a “fairy pink tool box” of his own for his birthday this year.

I also used to be great with electronics and install my own car stereos & CB with a PA system. I wired my TV to play out my stereo speakers & rewired my VCR & lamps after my bunny that ran free in the house ate them all. Now, however, I have to call my daughter when she’s at a friends house to ask her how to get the TV to go from DVD to VCR. Something happened after I got married – or hubby & I just don’t agree on wiring solutions. Just tell me which button I need to push, okay?

Bragging? Heck no. I find it funny. As I mentioned in a previous blog post, I still prefer guys to do that kind of stuff, but it’s just funny (to me) when its something a guy doesn’t know. A favorite quote of mine from Mr Mom:

“You gonna use 220?”

“220…221. Whatever it takes.”

The main characters in my books always know these kinds of things and it’s always something fun to run with. Somewhere, someone will say, “No way. A chick did not just do that,” & I’ll say, “Way. I did.” In the second book I just sent to my publisher, the girl worked at a lumberyard. I always have bits & pieces of me in my books – helps make things easier on me not having to look stuff up. πŸ™‚ (I can’t wait to submit the next one – I love the ‘ 67 Mustang banter between my MC & her husband’s father.)

What’s that? Your car won’t start? Try pouring a soda on the terminals. That’ll clean off the crud & it should start right up. Yes, I helped many a friend stuck at the beach that way. It does work. (& yep, I put it in a book πŸ˜‰ )File that in your chick-tool-box under “$#it that really does work!” Yup. You can just call me “McGirlver”. I can also open your bathroom lock with a pen. Don’t.Ask.

Maybe, your toolbox looks like this:

shoe knife

That works too.

So… the horse water faucet. Yes, I will be reminded of that for the rest of my life. I do know in theory what is supposed to work but I’m pretty sure I turned them one way, ran the water, and put it back how it was when I got there. In. Your. Face. Kram-min. That’s my story & I’m sticking to it.



7 thoughts on “How do you know "this" but…

  1. I wish I had taken a picture of the presso-board desk that Mālia hacked up. It was too big to fit in her room where she wanted, so she took power saw, drill, hammer and screwdriver and made it fit. It looked like Franken-desk.

  2. I think you knew that the neighbors in Philly always called on me, because Grandpop had made me a tool box from an ammunition box from the army supply. Your blog bought back memories.

  3. This post makes me love you even more.

    I store odd facts in my head but not the lumberyard variety. One funny thing is that from my graphic design background and Ibis’ carpentry background, both of us can convert fractions of an inch to decimals without even thinking.

  4. Way to go! Last year for Valentine’s day, Mr. C made me my very own tool box. He spray painted it purple and glued little tools on it for decoration. He also knows that NO ONE is allowed access to my toolbox. (Is that a euphemism?) If I wanted my tools to get lost, I would store them in his workshop!

  5. Poor Janna. Good luck on the remodeling.

    Yes, mom. I know this is your fault.;) I remember the stories of you changing the neighbors breakers in Philly. πŸ˜€

    LOL Turkey!!! So true! Yes, mine has 18 screwdrivers but its mine that he always takes. “But I know where this one is.”(and yes, I believe that was πŸ˜‰ )

    ((hugs)) Hooey. I wanna see Owen in a cool dog house designed by you two:)

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