Geographically challenged

Yes. Yes, I am geographically challenged. Thank you for asking. I think I may have said this before but it deserves repeating.

I blame my upbringing. I grew up on a rock. Maui to be more specific. While it’s all palm trees, beach & sunshine, I didn’t need to know things like North, South, East & West. There was one road to go anywhere, you simply drove it. Tourists wanted numbers when you gave them directions. Numbers? Hello – they have names. Long @ss names, but names, lady, not numbers! (okay – they did but we didn’t know that.) Things were Mauka or Makai. (Towards the mountain or towards the water.) Sure, I drove “South Kihei Road” and looked towards the “West Maui Mountains” but that’s not where the sun set so how was that west? (I also blame my lack of American History knowledge due to “Hawaiiana” classes, but that’s for another post.)

I have never managed to learn directions and have succumbed to the fact that I never will. Looking out my living room window and watching the sunset, I can tell that is west, but take me to the town I work in & I have no clue. My parents bought me a GPS last year & I have become increasingly dependent on it instead of learning my way. I can get to a lot of major places but navigating in cities like Minneapolis is completely out of the question. I’m grateful my GPS voice lady says, “In .7 miles, turn left,” instead of “turn west” or whatever. (I would like to download the voice my friend has though. She has Clint Eastwood. “In .7 miles, turn left, Punk.” *giggles*

Since hubby & I usually travel together, we only have 1 GPS. Being the military sap he is, he had to download a fun application to it for when he had it in his car. Color me surprised at his vehicle choice.

tank

Imagine my surprise at my new “vehicle”.

broom

The doctors say he will be fine in a week or so πŸ˜‰

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7 thoughts on “Geographically challenged

  1. LOL! I love your husband’s sense of humor. πŸ™‚ I’ve been trying to add a male Aussie voice to my GPS for a while now. Can’t seem to get it to work, so I have to listen to that angry female voice. “Turn right. Turn right NOW.” I just want to slap her. Oh, and we used one in O-ahu. Its pretty funny to hear that voice pronounce some of those street names!

    One word of warning about relying on GPS’s’es… Mine took me on a scavenger hunt in the middle of downtown. (I HATE driving in downtowns) Then the batteries went dead and I didn’t have the plug for it. I think everyone in the city could hear the colorful words flying out of my minivan while I had a conniption.
    – Always remember that ac plug adapter thingy. πŸ˜‰

  2. You can download voices? FUN!

    I find it amusing that you thought you’d “learn” to navigate after so many years of being unable. That’s one thing I think that if it snot in you, it won’t ever be. πŸ˜›

  3. LOL! Turkey. I thought about how it would butcher Hawaii names! You? Colorful words? No! πŸ˜‰

    Hooey – yup – just snot there & that’s okay. We can’t have it all, eh πŸ˜€

  4. When I started off in Maui PD and we drew maps, we used to use “mauka”, “makai”, “Lahaina”, “Kahului” in our maps to indicate directions. A year or so in we received the edict that we will need to start using NSEW in our directions. We were all pissed, tho I’m sure the sporting goods store in Wailuku made a small fortune selling compasses to cops that year.

    I much prefer “drive down S. KΔ«hei Rd with the ocean at your right until you come to an intersection that has three coconut trees in front of a beige beige house with a green roof. Turn mauka until you see a red house with a mango tree in front of it. And beware of the pit bulls.

  5. I remember missing a turn-off during our 2001 trip to LA to see everybody. After Universal Studio we got on a highway, and after about five minutes I noticed the sun setting in front of us. I knew Robb and Terry’s place was to the south east. Took another twenty minutes to find a place to turn around and eventually got back on track.

  6. I’m sure Tom will find me that voice πŸ˜€

    When I worked for the lumberyard on Kauai after hurricane Iniki – I got directions to jobsites : “You gotta stay on da main road till you when hit da crack in da mountain. You no going see one sign ’cause da buggah when fly away.” tee hee

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