Dumber than a…

…chicken. You thought I was going to say “box of rocks” right? Well, that would be insulting to rocks.

After spending a beautiful Sunday cleaning out the chicken coop when I discovered the water had been leaking, I came to the realization that I did not kill off as many brain cells as I thought because of all the alcohol I consumed in my 20’s…okay & 30’s…& a little into my 40’s… it’s because of all the blasted chicken I eat!

My daughter came out to help me get them out from under the coop when they decided they had to all crawl in the 2″ space I hadn’t managed to block yet. As she watched them carry on she said, “It’s a wonder they aren’t extinct.”

The cute little chicks went from… well…cute to stupid & ugly & ready for the butcher. We discovered, because it’s in our nature to do things backwards, that the people that get them ‘freezer ready’ only charge $1.50 each if you have more than 50. 13 chickens? Well… that’ll cost you $80. $6 a chicken not to mention the feed for the past 2 months… it’s cheaper to buy them cooked :/ Not. Gonna. Happen. The neighbor’s daughter said she’s done it & it’s easy – I want nothing to do with it! I hope they have fun. I’ll make sure I have something to do out of town for that! My daughter, however, is anxious to experience the whole “running around like a chicken with your head cut off” thing. *shudders*

We will be keeping some that are they layers. We should be getting eggs soon. That part is okay. Although these little ladies are still dumb… they are actually cuter than the roasters. Of course there was 1 that was really cute – it actually looked like a falcon & my daughter named it …wait for it… Falcon. Of all the ones to mysteriously disappear that day. Guess who? Yup. Crap. I’ve been upset for 3 days now over a stupid chicken. This is why you don’t make friends with your food people!


**changed title. If Battery didn’t get it… *sigh*


8 thoughts on “Dumber than a…

  1. One word. “Zipties” Or is that two? Zip ties? Zipties? IDK. I do know that they don’t run around and bleed everywhere if you ziptie the legs first.

    I’ve got a freezer full of chickens we raised. But I’ve got laying hens that I love a ridiculous amount. Cinnamon likes to ride on my shoulder. And Clover, my girl with the crooked beak, sneaks around the corner for speshul treats after I’ve let everyone out.

    I would keep pricing butchers. We’ve got one near us that does them for $2 a bird no matter how many you have.

  2. At first when I read layers I thought like a layer cake, or layers in Illustrator. Then I saw you meant eggs. I had a REALLY weird visual there for a second.

  3. *avoids cigarette smoking chicken joke to ToT*

    SM – I’m so glad I’m not alone! Yeah… neighbor is still looking.

    Hooey – come to the farm. I’ll teach ya a few other terms πŸ˜€

  4. We butcher chickens every year at my aunt’s. She has these nifty holders – they’re metal, bent into the shape of a funnel with the bottom opening just big enough for the chicken’s head to fit through. The chicken funnels are then screwed onto a pole, small end down. You stick the chicken in head first – the head sticks out the bottom hole, you cut it off, and the chicken stays in the upper part of the funnel until done kicking. No blood splattered everywhere. You should ask hubs if he can rig up something like that. πŸ˜‰

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